Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Bad Significant Other: A Remedy

For a long time now I, as well as many others I suppose, have fallen prey to what I like to call "The Significant Other Lull". This Lull is reached usually around the 1 year mark, give or take the level of apathy to which each individual is capable. I, for instance, am remarkably caring and aware for approximately the entire first year minus a few stumbles here and there. But I tend to hit my snag when the initial "make her like me" stage turns subtly into the "she likes me, now what" stage. In this stage, the proper thing to do (and most appreciated I find) is to keep doing the same sweet, thoughtful, and romantic things you were doing in the first place when she didn't like you. Yet we all take this opportunity to go and royally screw the pooch. A typical conclusion of events: fail to remember small pet peeves that you so tediously abided to previously, Valentine's Day (no flowers, no candy, only card), arguments...many of them over who will get the last word. Then throw in a tongue lashing about how you never make the other person feel special any more...skip ahead a month. Now you have three half-finished "romantic" gifts sitting in the closet waiting on nothing more than a couple finishing touches and some postage. Expensive matters more now, because the prospect of living your whole life with this person and having to buy lavish things all that time begins to weigh on the future checking account that you may jointly have one day. All in all, you forget why you do things in the first place and get more and more comfortable with delaying them indefinitely. 

Simply do things. You don't have to get all fuzzy and googly eyed again, just start to do some of those things that have been sitting in the romantic place in your brain, hybernating for the last 6 months. Every day try to remember who you're doing it for and why it matters. I promise that soon enough you will remember why you spent so much time and effort getting his/her heart in the first place. Caring is contagious, so as a plus, you may even see a little kickback from your thoughtfulness. The Lull cannot end soon enough people, so go get your Significant Other back and stop being so damn stupid.

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