Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Bad Significant Other: A Remedy

For a long time now I, as well as many others I suppose, have fallen prey to what I like to call "The Significant Other Lull". This Lull is reached usually around the 1 year mark, give or take the level of apathy to which each individual is capable. I, for instance, am remarkably caring and aware for approximately the entire first year minus a few stumbles here and there. But I tend to hit my snag when the initial "make her like me" stage turns subtly into the "she likes me, now what" stage. In this stage, the proper thing to do (and most appreciated I find) is to keep doing the same sweet, thoughtful, and romantic things you were doing in the first place when she didn't like you. Yet we all take this opportunity to go and royally screw the pooch. A typical conclusion of events: fail to remember small pet peeves that you so tediously abided to previously, Valentine's Day (no flowers, no candy, only card), arguments...many of them over who will get the last word. Then throw in a tongue lashing about how you never make the other person feel special any more...skip ahead a month. Now you have three half-finished "romantic" gifts sitting in the closet waiting on nothing more than a couple finishing touches and some postage. Expensive matters more now, because the prospect of living your whole life with this person and having to buy lavish things all that time begins to weigh on the future checking account that you may jointly have one day. All in all, you forget why you do things in the first place and get more and more comfortable with delaying them indefinitely. 

Solution. 
Simply do things. You don't have to get all fuzzy and googly eyed again, just start to do some of those things that have been sitting in the romantic place in your brain, hybernating for the last 6 months. Every day try to remember who you're doing it for and why it matters. I promise that soon enough you will remember why you spent so much time and effort getting his/her heart in the first place. Caring is contagious, so as a plus, you may even see a little kickback from your thoughtfulness. The Lull cannot end soon enough people, so go get your Significant Other back and stop being so damn stupid.

Monday, July 6, 2009

One of Those Days

Ever had just "one of those days?" You know, those days where everything you do, say or feel just isn't right. Of course you have, everybody has. Well today was one of those days for me. I wish i could say it was like a Murphy's Law story where everything goes wrong before it all turns around and ends up great. No, it was more of a day that starts out with a lot of promise and slowly bit by bit it gets progressively worse. Here's how mine typically go...

set the stage the night before: Days Inn. Troy, NY. gorge myself on Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. come back to a room that is never quite hot or cold enough all night. don't fall asleep immediately. don't fall asleep eventually. don't fall asleep at all. toss and turn in a a bed where the sheets don't cover your feet. wake up to the phone alarm...7:30 am.

start the day off right, sort of: love my morning coffee. wish it wasn't at 7:45 at a sticky IHOP in Troy, NY. check out of said Days Inn. leave my pillow in room.

get away from normal "big event" routine: maybe you drink a protein shake, give yourself a pep talk, rehearse, etc. I usually listen to music, heat my arm, and pray. Today my ipod died, i burnt my arm with the heat pack (damn thin towels), and sang the national anthem so beautifully to myself that I forgot to thank God after my bullpen. 

"big event" goes worse than you foresaw...much worse: 3.2 inn, 5 runs, 8 hits, 1 walk, 1 hbp, 1 error, 1 pitch for a strike in 1 spot, 1 glove throw, 1 expletive, many "tough day" mantras repeated to me, 0 that had any effect.

day that should end there just doesn't: 2:00 deli meat sandwiches (again. 3 days in a row). 4 hour bus ride through New Jersey even though we played 90 mi. north of NYC (enough to make any day worse). crammed van ride through Brooklyn...back seat on the tire. latin music blaring. ipod still dead.  

silver lining becomes nothing more than a shade of gray: I love food. peer pressured into a 20 min. walk to Buffalo Wild Wing for dinner. table of 13. no separate checks. don't have cash. order chicken sandwich. no chicken left. order burger. mediocre at best. wish i could've had more beer. too expensive. 

you figure out the actual silver lining hidden in the mess: in the midst of my nightmare, I have a fiancee and family that know no other way than to encourage me and tell me "tough day" and "you'll get 'em next time". Im always reminded of the things that transcend crappy days. even really crappy ones.